"Assalamu alyekum warahmatullah wabarakatuh!
Wonderful tips, sis,Mashaallah la hawla wala quwata illa billah!!
..."
Last time we talked about increasing your Gratitude Quotient (GQ) by going out there and expressing your heartfelt gratitude to those who had shown you any kindness. On the surface that sounds pretty simple, but for some it may not be so.
Some sisters have just got out of the habit of saying thank you. It may be because:
they have come to take things for granted, because that’s just the way things are
they may be sliding down the slippery slope of depression and finding it too much of an effort
they may have tried showing appreciation and been brushed off, so they don’t bother any more
they might not know how to show their appreciation in a way that’ll be accepted
So, if you find yourself caught in one of those traps, take a look at the following for some ways that you could kick-start yourself to get out of them and increase your GQ or...if you’re just looking for some new GQ ideas...skip the first section and go straight to the ones below for some new ideas or reminders.
If you’re caught in the spiral of negative thinking and can’t see the good in anything at the moment, there are a number of things you can do to get yourself out of it. All it takes is a little bit of commitment and determination.
Start off by taking a moment just to look around you for things to be grateful for. It may be something as simple as food on your table, your health, your five (or is it six) senses, the people you have in your life, the fact that you’re alive and you’re a Muslim...
When you notice yourself grumbling and being negative, stop yourself and remind yourself of one or two things that you can be grateful for; things that you have in your life that some other people don’t.
“Look to those who are lower than you (i.e., those who possess less than you) and do not look to those higher than you; this will make you appreciate the bounties of Allah upon you.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
- Take a few short appreciation breaks during the day when you stop, breathe deeply and remember what you are grateful for. Then hold that thought in your heart.
- Develop a GQ journal in which you write 2-3 different things every day for a month. If you do this at the end of the day, it will help you to settle to sleep with positive thoughts going round your head. And, at the end of the month, you’ll have a great journal full of happy memories to look back on.
Doing GQ exercises like these on a regular basis will help you to develop the habit of looking for the good things in your life. It’ll retrain your nerve pathways to experience more positive emotions and this in turn will open you up to more positive thoughts. You'll also find that it will calm your heart and help it to create more coherence with your nervous system.
Repeating this dua` often will help to remind you to be grateful to your Creator:
“O Allah, help me to remember You, to give thanks to You and to worship You well.” (Abu Dawud)
Gratitude towards Allah needs to be felt in the heart; as this is where all your emotions stem from. Just take some time out during the day, even if it’s only for a few minutes, to contemplate the amazing blessings Allah (subHana wa Ta`ala) has granted you, and develop a genuine sense of awe for them all.
You then need to express your gratitude on your lips by praising Him and thanking Him in your own words and also with the words that He asked us to use. Let words like: “Alhamdu lillah (all praise be to Allah)” sit lightly on your lips with heartfelt feelings behind them.
The Messenger of Allah (salAllahu `alayhi wassallam) said: “Speaking of Allah’s blessing is gratitude and ignoring it is ingratitude. The one who does not give thanks for a small blessing will not give thanks for a great blessing.”
The next stage is to build gratitude into your daily life, so you remember Allah and thank Him constantly during the day:
The Prophet (salAllahu `alayhi wassallam) said: “Allah is pleased with His slave if, when he eats something, he thanks Allah for it, and when he drinks something, he thanks Allah for it” (Muslim)
And he (salAllahu `alayhi wassallam) also said: “...No man buys a garment with his own money then puts it on and thanks Allah, but Allah will have forgiven him all his wrong action before the garment reaches his knees.”
And finally, gratitude is shown to Allah in your actions. So take care of the things that He has granted you and be kind to your family and friends, take care of the environment and don’t waste His blessings, such as water and wealth. Also follow His commandments to worship Him as He ordained:
It was reported that the Prophet (salAllahu `alayhi wassallam) stayed up all night, standing until his feet became swollen. When he was asked, “Why are you doing this, when Allah has forgiven all your past and future wrong actions?” he replied, “Should I not be a grateful slave?” (Bukhari and Muslim)
And lastly, whenever the Prophet (salAllahu `alayhi wassallam) heard any news that made him glad, he would fall down prostrating to Allah. So it is prescribed to perform the Sujud al-Shukr (Prostration of Gratitude) when you receive anything that makes you happy, whether you have gained something of benefit or avoided a harm.
The more you show genuine gratitude to the people around, the better your relationships will be. But there is an art to it, as people can spot disingenuous gratitude a mile off and that just makes them feel uncomfortable and distrusting.
So how can you show your gratitude genuinely? Don’t overdo it and give them gushing thanks all the time, even if the person deserves it. Occasional, well-timed and specific gratitude is the key. So look out for suitable occasions to give thanks. Then do it as soon after the occasion as possible, keep what you have to say short and to the point and tell the person specifically and honestly what it was that you liked. So rather than just saying “Thank you” you could say things such as:
“I really appreciated you coming shopping with me; it was great to have your opinion on those dresses.”
“That dinner was delicious. I loved the way you combined all those flavours; the balance was just right.”
And if the balance of flavours wasn’t just right:
“Thank you so much for dinner; I really appreciated your consideration in giving me a break from cooking tonight.”
“Thank you so much for the gift; it was just what I wanted”
And if it wasn’t what you wanted:
You can also show your gratitude by giving a gift; one that you put some thought into it. Flowers and chocolates are great stand-by gifts, but not if the person is trying to lose weight or is allergic to flowers! So try to think of something a bit more personal to show your genuine appreciation; even a short card, thank you note or email carefully written and given unexpectedly can make a difference.
Generally keep a look out for nice things to show gratitide for, especially to those people who are around you all the time. They may not appear to be doing anything out of the ordinary, but the fact that they are there for you all the time and you can trust and rely on them means that they are deserving of your gratitude. So show your sincere gratitude, as often as you can find the opportunity.
The more you show gratitude, the easier it will become and not only will you find your SuperMuslimah GQ growing, you’ll also find your relationships with Allah and those around you blossoming and getting stronger.
Related Posts:
3 Heartfelt Reasons to develop an Attitude of Gratitude
Seeing the Silver Lining: A Taste of Optimism
4 Steps to 'Change What is in Yourself'
Review: Finding Your Own North Star: How to Claim the Life You were meant to Live
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Posts: 4
Reply #4 on : Sun December 25, 2011, 18:05:53