When people ask me who I am, I usually just answer: Amal Stapley. Well I do nowadays; in the past I’ve answered with a variety of names in different contexts that told people that I was single, married, Christian, or a nursing sister. Some people have addressed me formally using a title, others have shortened my name, and one of my teachers used to call me by my middle name, as he said that was the custom in Macedonia.
Over the years I’ve had to get used to a variety of different labels, and when I accepted Islam I decided that I wanted to change my name again to reflect my new life and my coming closer to my fitrah (natural disposition).
Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Every new-born child is born in a state of fitrah, then his parents make him a Jew, a Christian or a Magian, just as an animal is born intact; do you observe any among them that are maimed (at birth)?” (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 60, Number 298)
Allah created us all perfect; perfect versions of us, with all the skills, aptitudes, abilities and characteristics to enable us to be the best examples of us that we can be. But as was mentioned in the Hadith, the family we are born into, or our social surroundings, can have an influence on what we become. Our lives are shaped by our surroundings and we often do things to fit in with them or to please the people around us, sometimes to the extent that we often end up far away from the pure state of fitrah that Allah created us upon.
As we move further away from our original state, we often get a sense of dissonance; of not feeling that we are us anymore. Have you ever felt that? I know I have. For me it felt that I wasn’t being true to myself; I wasn’t the me I wanted to be.
When we reach that state, we need to find a way of coming back to us, but sometimes that’s difficult as we have to peel back layers and layers to find the real us again.
One great exercise that you can do to start this process is by starting to reflect on who you really are. Have you got a paper and pen handy or a journal that you write your thoughts in? Start a new page and ask yourself the following question:
Then write as much as you can, preferably initially without stopping to think and reflect (there’ll be time for that later!) Describe yourself in the way you would to as many people as you can think of. Look into every aspect of yourself and be as honest as you can be with yourself...nobody else need see this; you’re writing it for you.
Then, when you can’t think of anything else to write about yourself, describe yourself in the way the person who is closest to you would. What would they say about you?
And when you can’t think of anything else to write, turn the paper over or close your journal and walk away from it for a few hours, or even better, overnight.
When you come back to the paper/journal and read it again, and reflect on what you wrote. Can you see any patterns? Anything that surprises you in the way you wrote about yourself or what you wrote? What insights can you gain from this?
This very simple exercise can be very powerful, as it can start to give you some deeper insights into who you really are; helping you to come closer to finding your true fitrah.
This is just one of the exercises from my Find Your FitrahTM workshop, which will be available very soon. The aim of the workshop will be to help you to find the real you again, to help you peel back the layers, and rediscover your true fitrah. Wouldn’t it be great to feel at peace with yourself and be more in touch with the you that Allah created you to be?
If you'd like to be among the first to hear when the workshop is released, sign up for my newsletter here! (You'll also receive all the website updates, plus special offers only available to the newsletter subscribers.)
~Sister~ If you're ready to make important changes in your life, ask for a phone / Skype coaching consultation to discuss how we could work together on this
Get my FREE eBooklet: Is Coaching for Me? to find out:
We women tend to mull over things and hold onto them, whereas men are more pragmatic thinkers; if they can’t do something about a matter, they tend to move on from it and leave it behind. So why do we keep on doing this and how can we stop?...
Being dismissively brushed-off when you've thanked someone can sometimes feel quite insulting. Find out how you can avoid falling into that trap...
The more you show genuine gratitude to the people around, the better your relationships will be. But there is an art to it, as people can spot disingenuous gratitude a mile off. So how can you show your gratitude genuinely? Read on....
Posts: 2
Reply #2 on : Sun July 04, 2010, 06:05:55